Blonde Jokes Slide Gallery

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Blonde Jokes

7. Who is the son of GOD?

A dumb Blonde passed away and went to Heaven. When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, she encountered Saint Peter, who told her, “You must pass a test before you can enter Heaven.” “Oh, no!” she exclaimed, but Saint Peter assured her that all would be fine. “Who was God’s son?” Saint Peter inquired. After a few moments of contemplation, the bumbling Blonde exclaimed, “Andy!” “That’s fascinating… What prompted you to make that statement? “answered Saint Peter.   She then began to sing “Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me…”

6. Blonde Joke > Jigsaw Joke!

Why did the blond get so excited after he finished the jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box, it said “From 2-4 years.”

5. Blonde Joke > Car

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?

A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

4. The Farm > Blonde Joke

There was a blond man living on a farm.  He didn’t get many visitors, so I went to see him…when I arrived, he was stiff as a board in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled at him, asking what he was doing standing there all still and straight. He responded that he was attempting to win the Nobel Peace Prize. “Well, that’s great,” I said, “but what are you doing in the paddock?” “I was reading the newspaper and it said all you had to do to win the Noble Peace Prize was to be outstanding in your field,” he responded.

3. Lie Detector > Joke

A lie detector chair was invented by a professor. If anyone sat in it told a lie, the chair would open up and dump the liar on the floor. A brunette sat in a chair during an experiment, and the professor asked her to tell him about herself. “I think you’re the best teacher I’ve ever had,” she began. The chair immediately threw her to the ground. A blond sat in the chair after the brunette left in a huff. The professor asked him to tell him about his life. “I think -” he began.

2. Disneyland > Joke

A blond was driving down the highway on her way to Disneyland when she noticed a sign that reading “DISNEYLAND LEFT.” After a brief moment of reflection, she exclaimed, “Oh well!” and turned around to drive home. The same blond drove past another sign that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS EIGHT MILES” on his way home. sShe had cleaned 43 restrooms by the time he drove eight miles.

1. Laughter > Old Car

A young blonde attempted to sell her old car. She was having a difficult time selling it because it had 250,000 miles on it. She confided in a brunette she worked with at a salon one day. “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal,” the brunette explained. “That doesn’t matter,” the blonde replied, “if I can just sell the car.” “All right,” the brunette said. “Here is the contact information for a friend of mine. He is the owner of a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you, and he’ll reset your car’s mileage counter to 50,000 miles. Then selling your car should be a breeze.”  The blonde went to the mechanic the following weekend. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde,”Did you sell your car?” “No,” said the blonde, “why would I sell it ? It only has 50,000 miles on it.”

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